How to Forgive the Hard to Forgive ... and Love the Hard to Love

Published: Wed, 11/09/22

November 9, 2022

CONTENTS:

A Personal Note
Science and Faith Agree on the Benefits of Forgiveness
FEATURE VIDEO: How to Forgive the Hard to Forgive ... and Love the Hard to Love

1. A Personal Note

As you read this, Charlene and I are in Chatel, Switzerland, where I'm teaching a week-long class to missionaries with Youth with a Mission (YWAM). The week-long class I'm teaching is part of their Biblical Counselling school, and I'm teaching about sexuality, addiction, and recovery. In this class, there are students from 9 different countries, and I'm always fascinated to learn about the lives of people in other cultures.

2. Science and Faith Agree on the Benefits of Forgivenes

In keeping with the message I'm sharing below about forgiveness, let me share some additional information from Dr. Andrew Serazin, the co-chair of the Discover Forgiveness campaign and president of the Templeton World Charity Foundation. This is from an article he wrote, shared by the Religion News Service. (I wanted to include this information in the sermon I shared, but didn't have enough time!)

We now know that to receive the most powerful benefits of forgiveness, it requires both the head and heart. Decisional forgiveness, which accesses the cognitive centers of the brain, must be accompanied by emotional forgiveness, which involves a full range of affective consequences. In addition, over the past two decades research has delivered high-quality evidence that forgiveness improves overall health and well-being, down-regulates the body’s stress response and improves cardiovascular outcomes. 

And for those whose ability to forgive may not be as automatic, scientific knowledge based on tested interventions can support the work of spiritual leaders who seek to help their communities with their forgiveness journeys. Likewise, scientific research has engaged directly with aspects of faith, demonstrating through empirical studies how belief can enhance a person’s ability to forgive.

Across dozens of scientific studies in diverse contexts, the physical and mental health benefits of forgiveness have been validated. At the Templeton World Charity Foundation, we continue to fund these investigations to increase awareness of the incredible potential for forgiveness to improve lives and have partnered with Religions for Peace to drive a larger campaign for individuals to “Discover Forgiveness.” The campaign aims to share the scientific benefits of forgiveness.

Evidence-backed tools such as the REACH forgiveness model, based on more than 30 studies testing its efficacy, provide a way to practice a set of steps that allow individuals to consider forgiving themselves, others, and even God. There are several tools like these, but the articulated steps, studied and verified, are where scientific methodologies prove to enhance spiritual principles.

3. FEATURE VIDEO: How to Forgive the Hard to Forgive ... and Love the Hard to Love

This week, the feature is a video rather than an article. I don't intend to share content I preach in my church to THIS email list very often, but once in a while the sermon I preach on a Sunday touches on themes that are applicable to you.

This sermon talks about Jesus' teaching about loving people who are hard to love, and forgiving people who are hard to forgive. It's based on Jesus' teaching about loving our enemies, not just our friends. I make the point in the message that loving our enemies almost always involves figuring out how to FORGIVE them.

Okay, we're supposed to forgive ... but HOW do we do this?

I am sharing this message because, in the last part of it I offer what I think is an important and practical tool to help us actually DO this (and not just think about it, or talk about it).

It's a five step process you can go through to help you let go of hurts, forgive people, and move on with your life. It includes elements of the practice outlined in the Big Book of AA (the work of Step 4), but it takes it beyond that.

I think this could be one of the most helpful things I've shared for people in distress, and people struggling to move on from the hurts of others. Let me know if you have any questions, or if you are helped by it!

Download the pdf notes page for this message

Mark Brouwer, Director
Renew Resources Group
http://lastingleaders.com

8938 - 33rd Street
Princeton MN 55371
USA

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