I wrote the following letter to send to some colleagues in church ministry. I thought I'd share it with you
as well ... feel free to forward to anyone you see fit.
Dear Church Leader,
I know that you're pulled in many directions in church leadership, especially during the Holidays. But hear me out for just a minute: this email deals with a REALLY IMPORTANT challenge in our time.
I think it was Martin Luther who once said "If we are not preaching the Gospel as it pertains to the issues of our time, we are not really preaching the Gospel at all."
To be faithful in preaching the Gospel today, we've got to help people
deal with the real challenges they're facing. And men are struggling in the face to today's barrage of sexually provocative content.
The research is clear that -- as of 2019 -- TWO THIRDS of the men in our churches are regularly accessing online
pornographic content. Both the Barna Research Group and Covenant Eyes surveys of churches show that OVER 2/3 of the men in our churches are "regularly accessing pornography on their computers and/or phones". Either they have convinced themselves that this is okay, or they're trying to stop, and are struggling to do so. Either way, they need help.
Either we believe what Jesus says about lust in Matthew 5, and Paul says about sexual sin in many places ... or we don't. If we do -- and we're committed to doing something to help people with this -- then we need to step up our game.
What is your plan to help your church members -- and especially the men -- face today's tidal wave of sexual provocation?
In
fact, let's keep this in perspective. The challenges to sexual integrity are only part of the story. Men are dealing with a four-fold battle:
- The battle with isolation and disconnection - Recent surveys show 44% of men feeling lonely "sometimes, often, or all of the time."
- The battle with anxiety and stress - The American Psychological Association calls this a mental health crisis today. Men are much less likely than women to get
help, and are at risk in a variety of ways because of this, including being four times more likely than women to die by suicide.
- The battle with spiritual doubt and disillusionment - In a recent survey, 96% of men said their "peak religious involvement" was at least two years ago, and 70% said it was 10 or more years ago.
- The battle with distraction and sexual provocation in our online world - One recent study found that 79%
of men between the ages of eighteen and thirty consume pornography at least monthly.
If you're not satisfied with that plan ... LET ME HELP YOU. Here are three ways I can do that:
1. First, have me come to your church and speak to your men's group. No ... it would not be just a sex talk. You wouldn't advertise it as "a men's PURITY EVENT!" If you did, nobody would come. I would come and talk about the FOUR key battles in a man's
life (listed above) ... and one of them has to do with sex. The hope is that this talk could surface the men who'd like to get further help, and you could then establish support groups for guys to take a look at this.
2. Second, if you know of any guys in
your church who could use some guidance, help, and support around their struggles with sexual temptation, send them my way. I have worked with over 1000 men, mostly in small counseling groups that I run, focused on this very issue.
3. Third, if
you'd like to talk with me and get some support for YOUR OWN journey, I'd love to work with you. I have a group that is comprised exclusively of spiritual leaders around the country who are working at growing their spiritual health, especially as they deal with sexual temptation. Once again, to be clear, this group deals A LOT with sex, but also about other things: especially marriage and family stuff, and the unique stresses of ministry.
I'm starting to book events where I come to speak to men's groups and churches about these things -- using the broader focus "The Four Inner Battles We're Fighting Today."
Just respond to this email, and we can talk further.
Sincerely,
Mark Brouwer
