1. Feature Article: "Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally"
Today's article comes from the Renewed Man Boot Camp. Renewed Man is a systematic teaching and coaching series designed to help men grow emotionally, relationally, and spiritually ... developing the essential character quality of "self-mastery." Even though this community is created for men, the principles are universal --
women will benefit from these insights as well.
We build this teaching around 12 Keys, and this week, we're focusing on Key 5:
EMOTIONAL AWARENESS. Here's how we put it:
5. EMOTIONAL
AWARENESS - We understand and deal with our emotions and internal needs. We don't live at the mercy of our emotions, but neither do we ignore, or try to suppress them.
Here's one of the daily messages from this week's teaching series. It focuses more narrowly on a particular
habit that I recommend people add to their environment. I hope this will help you:
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The Bible is quite candid about dealing with our emotional life. There are Psalms that vent extreme anger and despair. Paul makes a clear distinction in his letter to the Ephesians between being angry and sin — “In your anger, do not sin” (Eph 4:26). In other words, this negative emotion is not sinful -- there's a place for it -- what matters is what we do with it. In the deeply philosophical book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon reflects that there is “a time to weep and a time to
laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Ecc 3:4).
So what should we do when we’re faced with negative emotions? Allow them. Do what we can to deal with them, to work through them. Anything but try to deny or repress them. Sometimes we just need to articulate and sit with them, sometimes we need to acknowledge them, and then move on to do what we need to do in spite of not “feeling like it.”
Recovery writer — and the woman who literally wrote the book on
“codependency” — Melodie Beatty writes this about “taking care of ourselves emotionally.”
What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally?
I recognize when I'm feeling
angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame. I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.
I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel. Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time
to release it and go on to the next one.
I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but also sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too.
I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe. I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.
I'm open to the lessons
my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.
Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself.
“Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining
emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.”
Source: Melodie Beattie, "The Language of Letting Go." 1990 Hazelden Foundation
NEXT ACTION
Today's action step is to think again about the final recommendation, or intention, that Beattie leaves us with in her writing above. Make this your intention today:
“Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push
the emotional part of myself away.”
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Would you like to go "all in" and join the Renewed Man Boot Camp? It's a 12 Week Immersion in these principles. You'll get these daily teachings, a weekly video on one of the 12 Keys of Being a Renewed Man, and access to a support group and/or a coaching group that I lead.
Find
out more about the Renewed Man Program here.
