1. Feature Article: "Deciding What you Think About ... Is That
Possible?"
Today's article comes from the Renewed Man Boot Camp. Renewed Man is a systematic teaching and coaching series designed to help men grow emotionally, relationally, and spiritually ... developing the essential character quality of "self-mastery." Even though this community is created for men, the principles
are universal -- women will benefit from these insights as well.
We build this teaching around 12 Keys, and this week we focus on the second key. Here's
how we state it:
4. REDIRECTED DESIRE - We accept our sex drive as a powerful, God-given energy, and are learning how to focus and redirect it towards things that are positive and purposeful, when we choose to do so.
Here's one of the daily messages from this week's teaching series. I hope this will help you:
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“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8
In this program, we commit to strengthen our ability to "Redirect Desire." The background to this commitment is the acknowledgement that our sex drive is powerful, and that it's a good thing. It's a blessing from God. Too many people feel shamed about their sex drive, and too many people are victimized by it.
One of the ways this plays out is in our thought life. Many men I know struggle to deal with cravings -- thoughts about sex, and the desire for sex. It's especially challenging in today's world, since we are surrounded by media -- many forms of which include sexually provocative content.
How can we strengthen our commitment to "redirect desire" in such an environment?
Of course, the first step is to stop being stupid about the media we allow into our lives. We reduce our exposure to things that artificially elevate our sex drive in the first place. This has been talked about in keys 1 (commitment) and 2 (environment). You can read all the 12 keys here.
The second step -- and our focus today -- is to take control of our thoughts. To redirect our thoughts. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul says that "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." And in Philippians 4:8, written out at the top of this article, he suggests the kinds of things we should think about -- things that are pure, lovely, excellent,
admirable.
Is it possible to do this? Is it possible to actually control our thoughts? YES! If Paul tells us to do this, it must be possible to follow his instruction.
It's true that sometimes it feels impossible. Sometimes we are bombarded by intrusive sexual thoughts. We try to think about something else, but the mind keeps going back.
But even when that happens, we still have choices, and some measure of control. If nothing else, we can get up from our chair, bed, or wherever we are at that time, changing our physical posture and location, which will help us change what we’re thinking
about. Then, after we've shifted our physiology, we can then decide what to do with our psychology -- what to focus our attention on … and go from there.
Here are a couple great thoughts from the book “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. The second paragraph is even
better than the first.
“Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend to the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong,
useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of this soul, the director of his life. This practice will teach you how your thoughts shape your reality.”
“Before a man can achieve anything, even in worldly things, he must lift his thoughts above slavish animal indulgence. He may not, in order to succeed, give up all animality and selfishness, by any means; but a portion of it must, at least, be sacrificed. A man whose first thought is bestial indulgence could neither
think clearly nor plan methodically; and would fail in any undertaking. Not having commenced to manfully control his thoughts, he is not in a position to control affairs’ and adopt serious responsibilities.”
One final thought -- this principle is important and helpful whether your mental struggle is with sexual thoughts or something else ... like anxiety, depression, insecurity, or even anger.
We NEED NOT BE passive victims of
our thoughts. Today, when your mind keeps churning out thoughts that are hurtful, destructive, negative, or fearful ... change them! Think about something else. If you keep struggling with the same thoughts -- if they keep popping back into your head -- then change your body. Change where you are, what your body is doing. Stand up, walk around, go somewhere else.
NEXT ACTION
Today’s action step is something to do right now, and repeat throughout the day. This program is all about helping you focus and control this drive. Ask for God’s help to do this. Keep this phrase in mind
today:
“Today I will focus and control my sex drive, rather than letting my sex drive focus and control me.”
(If your primary struggle right now is in
another area of your life, rewrite this sentence in a way that applies to that area of life.)
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Would you like to go "all in" and join the Renewed Man Boot Camp? It's a 12 Week Immersion in these principles. You'll get these daily teachings, a weekly video on one of the 12 Keys of Being a Renewed Man, and access to a support group and/or a coaching group that I lead.
Find out more about the Renewed Man Program here.
