Stop Being Held Hostage by Your Thoughts

In This Week's Newsletter:

1. Feature Article: "Stop Being Held Hostage by Your Thoughts"
2. New Women's Group -- "Codependent No More" Book Study -- Led by Charlene Brouwer
3. Personal Update and Info

1. Feature Article: Stop Being Held Hostage by Your Thoughts

Today's article comes from the Renewed Man Boot Camp. Renewed Man is a systematic teaching and coaching series designed to help men grow emotionally, relationally, and spiritually ... developing the essential character quality of "self-mastery." Even though this community is created for men, the principles are universal -- women will benefit from these insights as well. 

We build this teaching around 12 Keys, and this week we focus on the eighth key. Here's how we state it:  

8. Managing Anxiety & Stress - We pay attention to our needs and limits as human beings. We work to create a life that is amazing and exciting, but also sustainable … a life we don't feel the need to escape from.

Here's one of the daily messages from this week's teaching series. I hope this will help you:

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One of our biggest challenges as Christians is controlling negative thoughts. Our inner voice is often filled with doubt, self-criticism, and negative emotions like anxiety, sadness, frustration, envy, and anger. But as neuroscientists and psychologists have been saying for years, this voice is not something to be rid of, but rather something to harness.

Can we control our thoughts? Absolutely! Christian teaching has consistently affirmed this, and a raft of recent research in cognitive psychology backs it up. Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf states categorically, "We can control our thoughts, and therefore we can change our lives." 

This means that even though negative thoughts may arise, we have the power to choose how we respond to them. We can either believe them, keep entertaining them, and let them consume us; or we can question them, take control, and redirect our thoughts towards something more accurate, helpful, and positive.

Psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman also emphasizes the power of our thoughts, stating that "We can choose to be victims of our thoughts, or we can choose to be creators of our thoughts." This idea is particularly relevant to Christians, who are called to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions (more on this later).

How Do We DO This?

How can we control negative thoughts? One way is simply through awareness. Often referred to with today's buzzword "mindfulness," this is the act of being aware of and present to your thoughts and feelings ... without judging whether they are valid or reasonable. As Dr. Leaf notes, "Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your thoughts so you can catch negative patterns and replace them with positive ones." 

By practicing mindfulness, you can begin to recognize when negative thoughts are arising and actively choose to redirect these thoughts towards positive affirmations or memorized Bible passages. In other words, you can -- and you MUST -- question your thoughts, discarding some of the things that pop into your head, and replacing them with other thoughts that are more valid, supportive, and positive.

Why do we so often fixate on negative things -- things we don't like, things we fear, things that make us depressed and anxious? That's how we're wired. Christians will point to this as the result of our fall into sin. Evolutionary neuroscientists will say it is the result of evolutionary forces (ie. the brains of our ancestors had to be fine tuned to notice and focus on problems and threats in order to better survive.) As psychologist Dr. Rick Hansen says, "Our brains aren't evolved to keep us happy ... they're evolved to keep us alive."

Even if we might differ on on our explanations about WHY this is the case, Christian teaching and secular neuroscience are in agreement on this one thing: our brains DO have a tendency to fixate on the negative. This is what makes so many of us miserable.

Rick Hanson puts it this way, "The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones." This means that negative experiences tend to stick in our minds more than positive ones. 

How Does This Square With the Teaching of Scripture?

The Bible is realistic about the level of brokenness and deceit in the human heart. We tend to fixate on fear, anger, lust, envy, depression, discouragement, etc. That's the bad news. But the good news -- clearly articulated in the Bible -- is that we needn't be the passive victims of this inner landscape of negativity and dysfunction. 

We DO have the ability to consciously and deliberately choose what we think. In fact, we are commanded to exercise this ability to choose. 

Philippians 4:8 states, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." 

And in Romans 12:1-2 Paul says this: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Our minds are renewed as we fill them with different inputs. They are renewed as we consciously choose the positive, pure, excellent, and praiseworthy things. 

In Philippians 4:4-7, we're told to "rejoice!" It almost sounds like the saying of that old pop song, "Don't worry, be happy." Easy to say, right? But then the Apostle Paul goes on to tell us HOW we can live with joy, and overcome worry ... by taking everything we worry about and turning it into a prayer to God. But not only that, to also find things to be grateful about in this same context. So in other words, we're not just told to "be happy" and "think positive thoughts," we're also given strategies for doing this. Here's the verses:

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Final Thought About Thoughts

One more thing: Remember that negative thoughts -- like sad and discouraging thoughts -- are not inherently bad. As Dr. Seligman notes, "Negative emotions are part of the human experience and serve a purpose." Rather than trying to completely rid ourselves of negative thoughts, we can instead accept them as they arise, and then let them go.

As Dr. Leaf puts it, "You can take control of your thoughts, or your thoughts can take control of you." The way we control them is by allowing them, but not necessarily taking them seriously, or believing them. You may have an insecure or fearful thought, but you can follow it up by reminding yourself that "there's a different way of looking at this." The thought that popped into your head may not be true. So let it go!

By practicing mindfulness, focusing on positivity, and drawing on the wisdom of scripture, you can learn to harness the power of your inner voice and live a more fulfilling life.
 

NEXT ACTION

Earlier this week we challenged you with the phrase: "Pay attention to what you pay attention to." Today let's continue with that mindset, but with a small shift. 

Think about what you think about.

You remember that key 2 of the 12 Keys is to Manage our Environment. In order to build health and vitality in our lives, we seek to fill our environment with things that reinforce our positive commitments, and rid our environment of things that trigger negativity and temptation.

But it's helpful to remember that what fills our minds is the ultimate environment that we create for ourselves. We can be in the most beautiful, lush, physical environment -- and at the same time have our minds marinate in hate, negativity, fear, and sadness. 

What can you do to fill your mind with more of what Paul advocates in Philippians 4 -- "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

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Would you like to go "all in" and join the Renewed Man Boot Camp? It's a 12 Week Immersion in these principles. You'll get these daily teachings, a weekly video on one of the 12 Keys of Being a Renewed Man, and access to a support group and/or a coaching group that I lead.

Find out more about the Renewed Man Program here.