“I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among those in the second half of life – that is to say, over 35 – there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given their followers, and none of them has really been healed who did not regain his religious outlook.” ― C.G. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul

I find this quote by the great psychologist Carl Jung — one of the founders of modern psychology —  very instructive. He categorically states that in his experience, every person over the age of 35 that he treated, no matter what their presenting issue, was really dealing with an essentially spiritual problem. In his words, their real need was “finding a religious outlook on life.” Every. Single. One.

Jung uses the term “religious” here, and I’m broadening that a bit by using the term “spiritual.” As he describes, “the living religions of every age” are giving support and instruction for people to help them deal with the spiritual questions that everyone faces. The deep questions of life often are ultimately spiritual issues.

This is how Paul Tillich, the great 20th century theologian, describes it. He says that spirituality is that which touches on “what is of ultimate concern.” In this sense, every person has some sort of spirituality … as everyone has to find some way of dealing with what is of ultimate concern.

Tillich goes on to remind us that “ultimate concern can destroy us or it can heal us. But we can never be without it.” In other words, we all must come to terms with those issues of ultimate concern … and some of us are in a better place to deal with those things than others.

What does all this have to do with the battle for sexual self-mastery?

People in 12 Step recovery have been saying for years that you can’t overcome addiction without experiencing some kind of spiritual transformation (referred to as a “spiritual awakening” in step 12). 

As old-timers in recovery programs say, recovery requires “learning to see addiction is a spiritual problem that requires a spiritual solution.” I think this is manifestly true about struggles to control our sexual desires and behavior … whether these fit the diagnostic criteria of “addiction” or not. 

Our sex drive is such a deep part of us — it touches on those parts of us that relate to the ultimate concerns of our lives (to use Tillich’s language).  

This point is tricky for people who have a background in Christian teaching to understand. On the one hand, it seems to be an obvious reinforcement of the essence of the message we hear Sunday after Sunday in church: our problems have spiritual solutions … we need to turn to God for help.

But the really important question here is often assumed but not always helpfully understood:

“Who is this ‘God’ we are turning to for help, 

and how do we expect to receive that help?”

I have come to believe that many Christian people carry around in their heads ideas about God that have been filtered and distorted by their unprocessed abuse and abandonment, and further complicated by spiritually messed-up spiritual teaching they received during their formative years. 

Various views about who God is and how we relate to Him can sound “biblically-correct” to us, but contradict other clear teaching in the Bible about God, and be very damaging to our souls.

What is the "Spiritual Awakening" of Recovery for Addicts Who Are Already Christian?

The founders and early participants of the 12 step recovery movement recognized that overcoming addiction is tied to a spiritual awakening. But they also understood that nobody comes into recovery with a blank spiritual slate. Most of us have baggage.

Some people have had very little spiritual interest or experience prior to recovery, and so recovery involves embracing a faith they never had. In a way that’s easy. It’s embracing something new.

Others come into the program with ideas about God that are distorted and/or childish. For them, the “spiritual awakening of recovery” involves a shift in their understanding and experience of faith, not moving from no-faith to faith. This is usually a process, it doesn’t happen overnight.

I've said this in other settings, but it cannot be overstated, or emphasized enough: For many (most?) Western Christians today, spiritual growth is not simply a matter of learning more new information. What is needed is to UNLEARN distorted truths and half-truths. 

Spiritual growth is not simply about taking in new truth. It's about letting go of things we were taught to be "truth," but further information and life experience reveal them to be either questionable or demonstrably false.

This is really hard to do because many of us grow up -- and continue to exist -- in contexts where we are taught to never question these beliefs.

I mention this because it might help you understand that “Coming to believe that God can restore us to sanity” is a lot less simple and a lot more profound than it first might appear. 

What keeps the people I work with from an authentic Christian experience of life with God — and from sexual self-mastery — is usually not irreligion … it’s bad religion.

NEXT ACTION:

Today’s action is to write down some of your thoughts about God. Take a couple minutes and write down in your journal what comes to your mind when you read this statement:

“Some of the beliefs we carry around in our head have more to do with our dysfunctional upbringing than with the God of the Bible.”

Do you agree or disagree with that statement? As you think about your own life and faith, what spiritual ideas come to mind that may be distorted and in need of “unlearning?”