What Makes Us HAPPY? Philosophers have theorized and debated this question since the beginning of time. Spiritual teachers have been bringing their insights to this question ever since their prospective religions were founded.

It should be noted that Christian teaching HINTS at this, but the focus of Christ's teaching -- and the main thrust of Biblical teaching in general -- is not so much about how to be "happy" as how to have a life that is meaningful. Happiness then comes as a byproduct.

But what -- specifically -- makes people happy? Not simply exuberant from the pleasures of the moment, but really happy?

We no longer have to speculate. 

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a research study initiated in the 1930s, sought to understand what factors lead to human happiness and wellbeing. Over the past 75 years, the study has continued -- after covering most of its first generation subjects across their full lifespan, it is studied their children, mostly across their lifespan too (although some are still alive). Now the research is continuing by studying their grandchildren. It is THE most extensive -- and longest running -- happiness study that's ever been conducted.

What makes us happy? 

Recent research of millennials found that 80% believed that getting rich would be a major source of happiness. Also within this group, over half said that becoming popular and famous was a major life goal, and they expected it to bring happiness.

Good luck with that. Research, such as the Harvard study, point us in a very different direction.

The Harvard study found that wealth and fame do not lead to happiness. Instead, social connectedness -- having close relationships with others -- is the key to happiness. 

People who are more socially connected are physically healthier and live longer than their less socially connected peers. In contrast, individuals who live lonely lives are generally less happy, live shorter lives, and experience a more rapid decline in health. Additionally, the quality of close relationships is more important than the number of friends one has.

In a article on the "Science of People" website, Vanessa Van Edwards delves into the latest results of this study, and writes about what the research reveals about HOW to build relational connectedness. Please read it if you want to get into more detail. 

Let me give you a quick summary of the key things it we should all be focusing on. In order to build more meaningful relationships, here are things the researchers from this study observed the happiest participants doing, and thus recommend to others:

1. Do what you can to ensure that the "five people you hang out with the most" are healthy and positive people themselves. The people we spend time with the most influence us most deeply -- their qualities "rub off on us." So spend time with people who are positive and happy.

2. Work on asking better questions when you relate with people, so you go deeper than just talking about the weather. People who have meaningful friends are deliberate about building meaningful relationships. The only way to do that is to move deeper than surface level conversation (when it's safe and appropriate to do so, of course). 

3. Value relationships enough to make time to build them. The people who have strongest relationships actually make these relationships a priority in how they schedule your time. Good relationships don't "just happen." We need to make time for them ... and so, we need to schedule time for them.

4. Commit to learning and growing as a communicator. People who build strong relationships have developed the skills required to do so. So the researchers encourage people to learn more about non-verbal communication cues, and work to become more interesting, charismatic people.

NEXT ACTION:

Today write two lists:

1. Who are the people in your life that you would consider "close friends"? Close friends are those who know you well -- they know the good and bad about you and about your life. They are people you can talk about personal things with.

2. Who are the friends and associates that you enjoy being around, even if they are not currently "close friends"? 

Would you like to grow these lists? Would you like to move some people from group 2 to group 1? The researchers in the Harvard study would heartily recommend this.