"If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self." -- Napoleon Hill

As we go about our daily lives, each of us faces an internal battle: the fight for self-control. The title of this article is a play a popular book called "Every Man's Battle," (which is about the struggle against lust). Everybody -- men and women -- share this struggle for self-control, especially in a world filled with products, marketing, and social media that continually tempts us and seeks to erode our self control.

The Apostle Paul was aware of this struggle, how it played out in his life, and wrote about it frequently. He talks about it as a battle between our lower, sinful, egoic nature -- what he calls "the flesh" -- and our higher nature, the new self of God's Spirit within.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." - Ephesians 4:22-24

Paul writes about this struggle -- between his old and new "self" -- in Romans 7:7-25. In verse 18 he says: 

"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature (also translated "flesh"). For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out."

Enter Self-Control

The only way forward is to exert self-control. Self control is the heart of the Renewed Man program -- sometimes we refer to it as "self-mastery". It is the ultimate virtue and is too often in short supply today. Paul lists it as one of the "fruits of the Spirit" in Galatians 5:22-23: 

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Self-control: it sits at the end of this important list, yet it underpins them all. It is the wall that holds back the forces -- within and around us -- that lead to self destructive self indulgence. You might think of it as the fortress of the soul. Without it, a person is like a ship adrift, tossed by every wave, carried by every wind of desire.

Proverbs 25:28 warns us, "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control." Without self-control, we are open, vulnerable; a city just waiting to be taken over by an unseen enemy. 

The image is stark, and brings to mind stories in books or movies about drawn-out ancient sieges. Often in these kinds of battles, the enemy does not storm the walls in a grand assault. Rather, he chips away at them. Bit by bit, stone by stone, the defenses crumble. The wise enemy is subtle, patient. 

Why must we be vigilant? Why is self-control so important? Because our world offers us a constant barrage of temptations of self-indulgence. Unless we develop healthy habits of self-discipline, we will be strung out by our over-consumption of food, online distractions, laziness on the one hand, and outright immorality -- sexual and otherwise -- on the other.

Vigilance is Not FEAR

In the Renewed Man program, "Ongoing Vigilance" is the 12th and final key we focus on. In fact, this article is one of the teachings we share in the program during the 12th week. Here's how we state the key in the program:

KEY 12. VIGILANCE - We maintain motivation and vigilance about our commitment to emotional and spiritual well-being, with sexual integrity being a key ingredient of this. We pursue the journey of self-mastery as a marathon, not a sprint.

Vigilance is not about living in a state of constant fear. Rather, it is readiness. It is awareness. Awareness of our vulnerability, awareness of the stakes of our daily decisions. And this readiness, this awareness, is cultivated through habit.

The writer James Clear writes in his book Atomic Habits: 

"All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision." 

Keep in mind: the seed that grows into a big habit can be something positive and life-giving, or it can be destructive.

The battle for self-control begins each morning. 

Right away when we get up, we begin choosing discipline over indulgence. As part of our morning routine, we have a set time of prayer, reading, meditation, and setting our commitment or intention for the day to live in control of our appetites, rather than having our appetites control us. 

It is these small victories, these quiet moments of choice, that build the walls of our fortress, that build the muscle of self-control.

You Are Not Alone in This Fight

There's good news to keep in mind here. Remember this: in the battle for self-control, we do not fight alone. The Spirit within is our companion, our guide. He strengthens us, He sustains us. He is the source of our self-control. 

But the Spirit also guides us into community -- into relationships with other brothers and sisters who can help support us. We are not alone. This is the whole purpose behind the Renewed Man program. We need connections with other people

So, stay vigilant. Stay ready. And let the Spirit lead you in the daily battle for self-control.

NEXT ACTION:

Today's action step is to reflect on one area of your life where you've struggled with self-control. It could be anything from a nagging desire for unhealthy foods, struggle with sexual temptation, the urge to procrastinate, or even a quick temper. After identifying this area, take a few minutes to write down some small, actionable steps that you can take to improve self-control in this area. 

Choose one. For instance, if you're struggling with a quick temper, your action step could be to practice taking three deep breaths before responding to a situation that agitates you. The key is to keep it simple and achievable, and remember, every big change starts with a small step.