The concept of the "Dark Night of the Soul" originates from a 16th-century poem of the same name by Spanish mystic and Catholic saint John of the Cross. The term has come to describe a profound spiritual crisis or experience of desolation, often associated with feelings of despair, disconnection, or of being abandoned by God.

A Christian might describe this experience as a period of spiritual dryness or desolation, during which time their prayers feel unanswered and they may struggle with doubts about their faith. During this time the comfort, joy, or sense of connection typically associated with their spiritual practices or relationship with God feels absent or significantly diminished.

It's important to note that despite its name, the Dark Night of the Soul isn't ultimately seen as a negative or bad experience within Christian theology. Rather, it's often perceived as a deeply transformative period that can lead to profound spiritual growth.

The suffering and desolation experienced during this time are seen as a way of purging the soul of spiritual imperfections, attachments, and illusions, ultimately bringing the individual into a closer, more authentic relationship with God.

In essence, the Dark Night of the Soul is a journey that requires the individual to surrender their own will and control, entrusting themselves entirely to God, even in the midst of suffering and perceived divine absence. This process can lead to a deeper understanding of God's grace and love, and to a more profound, mature faith.

Much has been written about the Dark Night. Here are six stages that people have identified as part of this experience:

Stage 1: Major disruption or triggering event(s)

The "dark night of the soul" is often triggered by an unexpected event or disruption. This stage is also referred to as "The Roller Coaster" and is characterized by a lack of control over the cause of the pain. The trigger could be the death of a loved one, extreme poverty, an illness, betrayal, injustice, abuse, job loss, or anything else that causes significant disruption.

What distinguishes "the dark night of the soul" from any other experience of tragedy or suffering is that it either creates, or is accompanied by, a spiritual struggle. The suffering or tragedy might raise questions like "Where is God?" or "How could God let this happen?" For St John of the Cross, the challenge that triggered his Dark Night was being imprisoned and mistreated by other religious leaders, simply because they disagreed and where threatened by the reforms he was seeking to implement in his religious group.

Or even if it doesn't cause deep questioning, a person going through a dark night might be disappointed to find that their spiritual life does not seem to offer solace or "answers."

Stage 2: Loss of direction and hope

As the dark night of the soul progresses, feelings of despair and hopelessness become more pronounced. God seems absent. One of the defining characteristics of this stage is the inability to cope with the triggering event or disruption, despite the resources, knowledge, and spirituality that have been acquired up to that point. 

During this phase, life may feel meaningless. The journey through the dark night can be visualized as an inverted bell curve, with a gradual descent into the depths rather than a peak in the middle. This brings us to the next stage of the journey.

Stage 3: Rock bottom

This is often the point of maximum pain and can feel like a breaking point or threshold. It is common to experience emotional numbness, hopelessness, and isolation during this phase, which can sometimes also involve the loss of friends and family. 

It’s also a time that people can descend into addiction, or go deeper into it if they already struggle with something. This is typically the darkest time in someone's life, and it can feel like everyone has abandoned us … and that our faith doesn’t work or help us. However, if we remain open to it, this phase can teach us a valuable lesson.

Stage 4: Waking up to the truth

There is light on the other side of rock bottom—and a steady climb up that bell curve we keep mentioning—in order to return to a sense of wholeness. After your darkest hours you begin waking up to the truth, which won't be easy. A the Psalmist says, “Weeping may exist for the night, but joy comes in the morning” (P 30:5)

This stage will involve a renewed desire, or resolve, to continue to seek God, or pray to God, or participate in certain spiritual habits — like Bible reading, or connections with other Christians — even if they don’t “feel” the same. And one of the key features is that the person may start to see things differently. (ie. "Well maybe God still DOES exist, and God still DOES love me, but doesn't always protect me from bad things, or answer my prayers in the way I expect Him to.") 

We are finally ready to face 'what is' instead of running away from it and wake up to the greater meaning — or at least to a different meaning — to your life and it all. The dark night of the soul will accentuate what you need to release or otherwise transform.

Stage 5: Spiritual study

Once you have gained a deeper understanding of yourself and your purpose, you will enter the fifth stage of spiritual development, which involves deeper growth through integrating the new knowledge you’re gaining, and achieving better balance in life in general. 

During this phase, you may become more interested in spiritual teachers and guides, and you will gradually build your life in a different way, based on the new insights you have about your faith. You may continue to pursue your spiritual life in the same community you used to be part of, or you may be connecting somewhere else.

Stage 6: Authentic living

As the dark night of the soul draws to a close, you will experience a sense of peace, understanding, and wholeness that you may have thought was lost. The final stage of this journey involves gaining a greater understanding of God, life's bigger picture, the lessons learned, and the wounds healed.

Anna Yusim, M.D., a psychiatrist and the author of Fulfilled: How the Science of Spirituality Can Help You Live a Happier, More Meaningful Life, puts it this way: 

"So we've transformed our perspective, and then we transform the pain and suffering into wisdom, which enables us to move forward and have even more light to share with the world by virtue of having gone through that experience."

NEXT ACTION:

Today’s action is to reflect on where you are in this journey. First off, do you identify at all with the "Dark Night of the Soul"? Do you think this has been -- or is now -- a part of your experience as a believer? 

If so, are you at the beginning, feeling the stirrings of discontent? Or maybe you are in the midst of desolation, feeling lost and unsure. Or are you moving toward reintegration, beginning to see glimpses of understanding? You could be stepping into wholeness and maturity, experiencing a deepening of your faith and understanding of God.

Once you have identified where you are, write a journal entry describing your feelings and insights. This will not only help you process your experience but will also serve as a marker on your spiritual journey that you can revisit in the future.