In this email ...- FEATURE ARTICLE: The Spiritual Practice of Watching What You Want
- You're Invited: Renewed Man Summer
Gathering -- August 1-3
- Share These Emails With Friends
- Where This Content Comes From ... and how to get more
- FIND OUT MORE ... (about me)
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- FEATURE ARTICLE: The Spiritual Practice of Watching What You Want
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One of the most disorienting things about spiritual growth is how often we find ourselves unlearning what we thought we knew about the good life. Take desire, for example. Most of us come to our spiritual lives with a kind of double-vision around our desires: on one hand, we’re taught to “delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” On the other hand, we’re warned that “the
flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit.” Sure, there are “fleshly desires” that are clearly sinful—those are easier to name and renounce. But what about all the other desires that don’t seem obviously wrong? The ones that feel a little selfish, or maybe spiritually suspect? That’s
where the challenge of discernment begins. Vernon Howard offers a perspective that I find both clarifying and convicting. He doesn’t shame us for having desires. Instead, he invites us to get more curious about them. The question to focus on is whether a particular desire leads us toward freedom and wholeness, or toward anxiety and disappointment. And the way we find out, he says, is by watching what they do to us. Here's what he says: Spiritual teachings about desire are frequently misunderstood. Those who read mystical literature are urged to be free of cravings. They react, “But my whole life centers around wanting things and going after them. What would I do without my desires?” Mysticism explains, “No, do not try to extinguish all desires. But try to separate the healthy from unhealthy. How can you tell the difference? Watch them. Notice what they do to you. A false desire is painful, compulsive, nervous, angry. It keeps you running, but you don’t know where. A false desire masquerades as real fruit, but it is artificial; it cannot satisfy hunger.” Healthy desires, mysticism continues, are quite different. They also activate you, but you run in a straight line, not in a circle. It is healthy to wish for greater self understanding. It is just fine to desire a better life. It is healthy to yearn for the way out of your haunted
house.
If your life feels frantic, if you find yourself exhausted and discouraged—even when you’ve been chasing things that seem “good”—maybe it’s time to look not at what’s missing on the outside, but at what’s stirring on the inside. Not all desires are created equal. The ones worth following will help you move forward in a straight line, with increasing clarity and peace. The others, no matter how noble they appear, will pull you into a loop of craving and confusion. Let’s start noticing which is which.
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Next Action:
If you’re ready to implement this in your life today, try this: Take five quiet minutes sometime today to reflect on a desire that’s been driving you lately. Ask
yourself: What is this desire doing to me? Is it bringing clarity and peace, or anxiety and agitation? You don’t need to fix anything right away—just notice, with honesty and curiosity.
2. You're Invited: Renewed Man Summer Gathering Coming to Minnesota on August 1-3 We’re excited to announce our first-ever in-person gathering for the Renewed Man community! This program has brought together men from all over the U.S. — and even a couple of other countries — but until now, it’s all been virtual. This summer, we’re changing that. For the first time, we’ll gather face-to-face for a weekend of connection, growth, and celebration. And this event isn’t just for guys already in the program.
If you’ve been curious about Renewed Man or want to learn more, you’re welcome to come and check it out. It’s a great opportunity to experience the heart of the program and meet some of the men who’ve been
walking this journey. Here are the details: - Location: Bethel Church, Princeton, MN
- Starts Friday evening, August 1 with
dinner and welcome
- Saturday, August 2 will include training sessions, group connection time, and a celebration dinner
- Sunday, August 3 we’ll wrap up with worship and a “Next Steps” conversation over lunch
More details will be coming soon, but for now, mark your calendar. We’d love to see you there — whether you’re already part of the community or just taking your first step. Things we'll be
addressing at this gathering: - Why Churches Are So Bad at Helping People With Addiction
- Taking Men's (and Women's) Ministry to Another Level
- Lessons Learned on the Recovery Journey
- The Renewed Life: A new technology for today's challenges
- The Spiritual Question of
Recovery: What are you Willing to Die For?
Simply respond to this email if you'd like to hear more!
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4. Where This Content Comes From ... and how to get more Much of what I share in these newsletters comes from the Renewed Man Program — a coaching and teaching series I developed to help men grow in emotional strength, relational integrity, and spiritual depth. At its heart, the program is about cultivating a deeper kind of self-mastery — not through willpower alone, but through wisdom, support, and spiritual clarity. One of the core areas we focus on is self-control — particularly when it comes to sexuality. In a world saturated with online erotic content, this is a battle many men face daily. But Renewed Man doesn’t stop there. The principles we explore are intentionally holistic, touching every part of life: how we handle stress, how we communicate, how we lead, and how we heal from the
wounds we carry. While the program is created with men in mind, the truths we explore are not gender-specific. I’ve found that many of the same insights bring clarity and encouragement to women as well — which is why I include them here, in this space. If you’ve been reading these reflections and feel ready to go deeper, I want to invite you to consider joining the Renewed Man Boot Camp. It’s a 12-week immersion where we walk through these life-changing principles together. Each week includes a short video teaching, daily practices, and access to a support or coaching group that I personally lead. It’s not easy work. But it’s good work. And it’s worth doing.
Find out more about the Renewed Man Program
here.
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My name is Mark Brouwer, and I’m a spiritual teacher who serves as a pastor, writer, speaker, coach and mentor. You're receiving this because of our connection through church ministry or one of the renewal programs I lead.
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