What do you do when a strong urge hits?

Most of us think we only have two choices:

Give in to it.

Try to stuff it down and pretend it’s not there.

But there’s a third option. And it's one that’s especially helpful for people on the path of recovery.

In other teachings in the Renewed Man program, we talk about what to do in the moment when you're triggered — like getting up and moving away from the situation. Stepping away from the computer. Going outside for a quick walk.  

When we move our bodies, it gives our brains and hearts a break. We get out of our heads. We breathe. And as part of this "stepping away from the situation," we also take a moment to pray. We remember who we are and what we want most. We reconnect with God and with our deeper purpose.

But what happens when you come back to your chair… and the craving is still there? What if the urge lingers?

That’s where the practice of urge surfing comes in.

Here’s the basic idea: What if you didn’t fight the craving — but also didn’t act on it? What if you just noticed it… sat with it… and let it rise and fall, like a wave?

That’s what urge surfing teaches. You don't try to repress the urge. You don't shame yourself for feeling it. You just observe it. Let it be there. And trust that it will pass.

And it will pass.

The concept comes from mindfulness-based approaches to addiction recovery and is backed by both psychology and neuroscience. But more importantly, it lines up with Christian wisdom, too. Being still. Paying attention. Not reacting out of impulse, but acting out of the guidance and power of the Spirit.

One writer put it this way:

“You don’t deal with a strong urge by trying to repress it, but by letting it be — and letting it go.”

This practice isn't just helpful for cravings around addictive behavior. It also works with strong emotions — like anger, anxiety, loneliness, or temptation. When you practice this over time, it builds strength, peace, and self-control.

Urge surfing won’t fix everything overnight. But it can be a game-changer. It's one more tool in your toolbox — a way to respond instead of react. 

Here's how to practice urge surfing:

1. Notice the urge – Pause and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Say it to yourself: “I’m feeling a strong urge right now.”
2. Breathe deeply – Take a few slow, steady breaths. This helps calm your body, getting you out of a reactive state, and getting you grounded.
3. Get curious, not judgmental – Observe the urge without shame or panic. Does it come in waves? Is it getting stronger, weaker?
4. Remind yourself: this will pass – Urges feel urgent, but they are temporary. You are not your craving. It’s just a wave — and waves rise and fall.
5. Don’t fight it, don’t feed it – Just ride it out. Don’t argue with the urge. Don’t act on it. Just let it be.
6. Stay connected to your purpose – Remind yourself why you’re choosing not to give in. Pray. Repeat a Scripture. Think of someone you're doing this for.
7. Watch the wave fade – Notice how the urge loses its power as time passes. This builds confidence for next time.

Give it a try this week. Next time an urge shows up, ride the wave instead of getting pulled under. You might be surprised by how much calmer the waters become.

NEXT ACTION:

Today’s action is something to do the next time you feel a strong urge, which may happen today or on a later day. Whatever the urge is — whether it’s to reach for your phone, eat something you don’t need, or go back to an old habit — pause and name it out loud: “This is just a craving. It will pass.”
 

Then take five minutes to breathe deeply, pay attention to the feeling without acting on it, and remind yourself of your “why” — your values, your purpose, your freedom.
 

Try this once this week, even if the urge feels small — it’s a powerful way to train your mind and body to respond differently.