1. On a personal note:
I'm getting settled into our new home, and my new role at
Loop Church. In getting ready for a presentation about recovery to therapists and addiction counselors, I realized that some of the products on my online store weren't working. They are now :-)
2. Updated audio program: "The Spiritual Issues and Challenges of Recovery"
In the busyness of my life in ministry lately, I let an important audio program languish. I came to discover pretty early on in my own recovery, and work with other Christians in recovery that there's a dirty little secret:
Super religious people have a harder time
recovering from addiction than anybody
Why is this? Well ... I talk about this in my audio series "The Spiritual Issues and Challenges of Recovery." Here's a hint: a lot of us have to unlearn stuff that messes us up before we can learn the things we need. This is a BIG issue for spiritual issues in recovery. It's more complicated and nuanced than that, and there are other factors at work, but that's at least a start.
Check it out here:
3. Houston, we have a problem ... (addiction all over the place):
Eva Moskowitz wrote the following paragraph in her book "In Therapy we Trust" in 2001. She seems a
little skeptical about addiction ... like we're labeling everything an addiction now. Depends how you use the term. 16 years later, I don't hear this skepticism nearly as much. Today, mental health professionals are MORE willing to accept the addiction diagnosis for a variety of substances and behaviors, because we know more about addiction, and we can measure the processes in brains.
So just grant that these numbers are valid, and you have a picture of a devastatingly unhealthy society. Note that in the paragraph, she doesn't even talk about drug addiction! Also note, that this was written in 2001. What do you think ... has the
prevalence of addiction grown since then? I'm guessing the answer is YES.
"For example, reportedly 10 percent of Americans, or 20 million, suffer from alcoholism. And this 20 million is small compared with the 80 million made 'codependent' by their familial association. The number of gamblers is estimated at 20 million, matching the number
of alcoholics. Compulsive eaters number some 30 million, 80 million if the obese are included. Sex addiction apparently plagues 25 million Americans. The compulsive-shopping population is estimated at 15 million, or 40 million when those afflicted with overspending are included ... The discovery of new addiction, disorders, and compulsions and their seeming ubiquity has become a staple of our daily news."
4. Feature: The "simple life" ... worthy goal, but also dangerous illusion
I love the idea of people simplifying their lives. I read a lot of books and websites about minimalism. I know that living a complicated life is part of our problem today, and so we should simplify whatever we can. Most of us have too much stuff and try to do too much. Simplifying can lower
our stress. If we're in recovery, simplifying life is important, because stress and chaos lead to relapse. If our lives are too full and overloaded, it only makes sense that cutting some things out and simplifying will be part of the solution. They will help us have happier, more fruitful lives.
But if simplifying becomes our ultimate goal, we’re never going to be happy, and we’re going to miss out on opportunities that make life meaningful. Anything worthwhile is likely to be stressful, time-consuming, and will complicate our lives. If simplifying and lowering our
stress is our primary goal, we will have to stop doing many important things, because they make life complicated.
What do you cut?
Here’s a scenario that has played out many times in my work as a pastor: A person in the church is volunteering in a ministry and doing a great job. But they are feeling too busy and overwhelmed and feel the need to simplify their lives. Guess what is the first thing they cut out of life in order to “simplify”? Of course: their volunteer
work in the church.
Meanwhile, they’re working at a job they hate, with working conditions and expectations that are out of control, and/or they are caught in demanding, dysfunctional relationships where they spend inordinate amounts of time trying to please people who are perpetually unhappy, and/or they are gone many weekends pursuing sports and other
activities for their kids, and/or they’re watching a ton of TV.
But when they realize that they are too busy and stressed out, the thing they pull back from is the volunteering they do to help other people. They let go of the thing that is easiest to step away from, but it is also likely the key area that has the potential to make their lives fruitful and
fulfilling.
We all know that we need to simplify our lives. The real challenge is to discern what needs to be cut and what should be kept. If you want a simple life, just sit at home and watch TV. Do the minimum for your job. Limit how much you socialize. Do minimal shopping to get the necessities of life, and then go home and relax. No
responsibilities, no difficult relationships, no complications. You can have a simple life. But it would also be a boring, depressing, and spiritually empty life.
Engaging in service doesn't simplify life, but makes it meaningful
If we really
want to change the world, to leave the world a better place, we have to realize that doing so is going to be challenging and time-consuming. It is absolutely not going to simplify your life. It’s going to complicate your life. By the way, that’s true of many important and meaningful things. Having a child will not simplify your life. Getting a pet will not simplify your life. Falling in love with someone will not simplify your life. Having a meaningful career will not simplify your
life. Recovery will not simplify your life. But any one of those things might be a huge blessing and pave the way for great joy and fulfillment.
Kept in its proper place, simplicity is a key goal and value. Elevated to an extreme, simplicity is an illusion and a barrier to true fulfillment. The real issue here is: What is your priority? We need to
build our lives in such a way that our key priorities get done, and we can only do this by making room in the other areas.
Only you can determine your priorities. Make sure that "having a simple life" is not the main one.
5. Quote of the week:
“Two temptations are enticing. One is to plunge into activism without a spiritual grounding. The other, especially insidious, is to take a deep breath, close the doors of the churches on the problems of society, and focus on a private experience of religion"
- Susan Rakoczy
