Life Pro Tip: Schedule time to evaluate and worry

Published: Thu, 08/24/17

Renew Weekly

​​​​​​​Wednesday Update  08.24.17


Notes, quotes, and links from Mark Brouwer. I help spiritually minded people who want to make a difference with their lives but struggle with overwhelm, stress, addiction, and discouragement. This might help ...

What you'll find in this issue:  

1. Thriving Leader Blueprint is coming September 28
2. CG Jung on denial
3. FEATURE ARTICLE -- Life Pro Tip: Schedule a time to evaluate and worry
4. Quote of the week


1. "Thriving Leader Blueprint" is coming September 28 

The "Thriving Leader Blueprint" is a program I've developed to help leaders, heart-centered entrepreneurs, and church volunteers who want to deepen the impact of what they do, and do it in a way that is life-giving for them rather than life-draining. If you want to grow in your ability to do mission without being a martyr, this program is for you. It's a 10 week program that involves five modules of teaching, and five group training, coaching, and support calls. It's all done virtually, so you can participate in this program from any part of the world. 

If you're interested, or would like to know more, just reply to this email and you'll get more information.


2. CG Jung on our tendency to "remain totally incapable of seeing how much [our problems] originate in ourselves." 

Our ability to fool ourselves is astonishing. In the work I do with leaders, it's so hard to get them to look honestly at themselves. And if they are embroiled in any kind of controversy ... forget about it. The focus always tends to shift to the other person or group, what they have done or not done. When it comes to dealing with addiction, we face this all the time. Confronting denial is a huge task in recovery ... in fact, it's what makes recovery possible.

All this to say: regardless of the circumstances, we tend to resist facing hard and humbling truths about ourselves. But until we do, transformation won't happen. Listen to these words from CG Jung: 

"It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going. Not consciously, of course -- for consciously he is engaged in bewailing and cursing a faithless world that recedes further and further into the distance. Rather, it is an unconscious factor which spins the illusions that veil his world. And what is being spun is a cocoon, which in the end will completely envelop him."  - CG Jung



3. FEATURE ARTICLE: Life Pro Tip -- Schedule time to evaluate and worry 


Many of us struggle with worry. Even though we don't like doing it, and we're told in the Bible not to do it (Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 6:25-34, Philippians 4:6-7), we can't help ourselves. But what is the opposite of worry? Not caring? Not paying attention to needs and concerns? Ignorance?

In a recent session of the Thriving Leader Blueprint (an online teaching and coaching group I run), we talked about this issue, and it became clear that this is not a binary either/or issue. We've got to pay attention, we've got to let our minds dwell on what's happening around us, and be aware of potential problems and dangers. Where we get into trouble is that our minds spin with these thoughts of worry when they shouldn't (like when we're spending time with friends or family, or trying to sleep). 

The solution: schedule a time let yourself worry. 

Here's an excerpt from my upcoming book (with the working title "Thriving Leaders: Spiritual solutions for changing the world without wrecking your life.") Enjoy ... 

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It’s not a bad thing to step back from time to time and ask yourself how things are going. It’s okay to periodically ask, “Is this working?” “Do I feel good about doing this?” “Are we making a difference, or are we wasting our time and money?”

It’s okay to do this sometimes … but not often.

How often is often enough? How often is too often? It will vary, depending on the situation. But if you ask yourself this question when you are in a reasonably calm state of mind -- “How often should I evaluate what I’m doing and think about whether or not some change is in order?” -- an interval should come to mind. Maybe every month. Maybe quarterly. Maybe weekly. Decide on the interval that makes the best sense for your context. 

Then stop worrying and evaluating, unless it’s the right time.
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“Most of us walk around with a large, foggy cloud of worries hanging over our heads, some of them old friends, some of them near strangers. If you sit down, make a list and really examine them, you may be surprised.”
- Joyce Lubold

Whatever you decide, write it down. Put it on your calendar. Then stop worrying. Stop analyzing. If questions, doubts, or discouraging thoughts pop into your mind, let them go. Tell yourself: It’s not time to worry about that. You’ll take a look at it next Wednesday, next month, or whenever you’ve got it down.

Maybe you need to create a file with questions and concerns that you commit to look at during this evaluation period. If a question or doubt comes up when it’s not the “evaluate and analyze” time -- and it seems specific and important -- write it down and put it in the file. Then forget about it. You’ll get back to it when you need to. Right now, just relax. Don’t stress, don't over-analyze, just keep doing your work.

If you don’t have a time scheduled to evaluate how things are going, of course your mind is going to draw attention to questions about how things are going. And the questions will manifest themselves as worry and flood your mind at the worst possible times. I’ve found I’m much better able to deal with anxiety and discouragement if I know a time is coming when I’m going to look at the issues. I can let it go now, because I’ve got a time set up to look at the problem later.

One more thing about scheduling a time to evaluate, analyze, and worry: If at all possible, involve other people. Although it’s always your responsibility to decide for yourself about the course of action you take, it can be helpful to get feedback from other people. Sometimes other people can see things that you can’t or might have a more objective view that would be helpful. Other people might be able to challenge some assumptions you have that are outdated, unhelpful, or simply incorrect.


4. Quote of the week: 

"Keep these concepts in mind: You've failed many times, although you don't remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim... Don't worry about failure. My suggestion to each of you: Worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try."
 - Sherman Finesilver



Let's keep in touch ...
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I currently serve as the pastor of Loop Church in Chicago. If you're ever in the area, come join us on a Sunday morning! Places to find my writing:


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