The promise -- and illusion -- of "simplifying my life"

Published: Thu, 02/22/18

Renew Weekly

​​​​​​​Thursday Update  02.22.18


Notes, quotes, and links from Mark Brouwer. I help spiritually minded people who want to make a difference with their lives but struggle with overwhelm, stress, addiction, and discouragement. This might help ...

What you'll find in this issue:  

1. Free teleseminar: Facing and Overcoming Toxic Stress
2. Sedona Retreat: Finding Peace in the Stress of Change
3. FEATURE ARTICLE -- The promise -- and illusion -- of "simplifying my life"
4. Quote of the week


1. Free Teleseminar: "Facing and Overcoming Toxic Stress"

(Tuesday, February 27, 8pm central)

Living with emotional and spiritual health is one of our core tasks, But it's getting increasingly hard to do. The pace of our lives continues to ratchet up, and the stresses and traumas keep adding up. As someone has said, "In the industrialized world today, we are all swimming in an ocean of toxic stress."

But it doesn't have to be this way! There is a way out.

I'm planning to do a teleseminar on February 27, where I'll be talking about this in more detail. I will also talk about the upcoming Sedona Retreat (see below), where I'll be teaching on this subject. If you're not sure you'll be available that night, sign up anyway ... you'll get access to the recording if you do!
2. Sedona Retreat: Finding Peace in the Stress of Change
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Dates: April 27 - 29

I'm very excited to invite you to join me in Sedona, AZ for a three-day retreat on the last weekend of April! I will be teaching on the theme of Finding Peace Amidst the Stress of Change. What better place to help us do that than in the sunny beauty of Sedona, Arizona!
 
The great challenge that so many of us are wrestling with is toxic stress. Toxic stress erodes our physical health, emotional well-being, and relationships. Given the pace of our lives and challenges of our world today, no one can eliminate stress altogether -- even if we wanted to. The problem is not stress itself, the problem is when that stress becomes toxic. And there are DEFINITELY things we can do to reduce -- and ultimately eliminate -- toxic stress from our lives. At this retreat, I'll share strategies for doing so.
 
At this retreat, I'll be joined in teaching by Belle Burg and her husband David Burkhart. Belle is a mentor and coach, specializing in helping people navigate through life transitions (such as moving, divorce, job loss, etc.) She's the author of "Best Seven Skills to Live By the Native American Way." David Burkhart has been a career corporate trainer, with an expertise in helping executives and managers manage workplace stress.
 
The retreat will be held in the beautiful Sedona Creative Life Center. The retreat will include teaching in the mornings, hiking tours and ample free time in the afternoon, and evening fireside chat sessions on Friday and Saturday night.
 
The cost for the retreat is $400, and early registrations will get a complimentary 20 minute treatment session at Sedona Spa. We are right now securing a special rate at Los Abrigados Resort and Spa for your lodging. Please make plans to join us. Email me with any questions.

For more information, or to sign up ... go here:

http://lastingleaders.com/sedona/
 
3. FEATURE ARTICLE: The promise -- and illusion -- of "simplifying my life"
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I love the idea of people simplifying their lives. I regularly read books and browse websites about minimalism. I watch Youtube videos about van dwellers, homesteaders, and digital nomads ... I love learning about people who've radically simplified their lives.

Don't get me wrong: simplicity is a great goal. In many ways, I'm a big fan and a practitioner. This past year, Charlene and I downsized our possessions and moved from a 2800 square foot house to a 1200 square foot, 2 bedroom apartment ... and we love it!

I know that living a complicated life is part of our problem today, and so we should simplify whatever we can. Most of us have too much stuff and try to do too much. Simplifying can lower our stress. If our lives are too full and overloaded, it only makes sense that cutting some things out and simplifying will be part of the solution. This will help us have happier, more fruitful lives.

But there can also be a downside to this mindset, and I see it being played out all too often.

If simplifying becomes your ultimate goal, you're never going to be happy, and you’re going to miss out on opportunities that make life meaningful. Simplicity and minimalism can become distractions and idols that keep us from living full lives.

To some of you, this might seem tantamount to heresy, but think about it from a different perspective: Anything worthwhile is likely to be stressful, time-consuming, and will complicate our lives. If simplifying and lowering your stress is your main goal, you will have to stop doing those world-changing things, because they make life complicated.

Here’s a scenario that has played out many times in my work as a pastor: A person in the church is volunteering in a ministry and doing a great job. But they are feeling too busy and overwhelmed and feel the need to simplify their lives. Guess what the first thing is that they cut out of life in order to “simplify”? Of course: their volunteer work in the church.

Meanwhile, they’re working at a job they hate, with working conditions and expectations that are out of control, and/or they are caught in demanding, dysfunctional relationships where they spend inordinate amounts of time trying to please people who are perpetually unhappy, and/or they are gone many weekends pursuing sports and other activities for their kids, and/or they’re watching a ton of TV.

But when they realize that they are too busy and stressed out, the thing they pull back from is the volunteering they do to help other people. They let go of the thing that is easiest to step away from, but it is also likely the key area that has the potential to make their lives fruitful and fulfilling.


If you want a simple life, just sit at home and watch TV

We all know that we need to simplify our lives. The real challenge is to discern what needs to be cut and what should be kept. If you want a simple life, just sit at home and watch TV. Do the minimum for your job. Limit how much you socialize. Do minimal shopping to get the necessities of life, and then go home and relax. No responsibilities, no difficult relationships, no complications. Simple life.

But also a boring, depressing, and spiritually empty life.

If you want your life to count, if you want to leave the world a better place, you have to realize that doing so is going to be challenging and time-consuming. It is absolutely not going to simplify your life. It’s going to complicate your life.

By the way, this is true of many important and meaningful things: Having a child will not simplify your life. Getting a pet will not simplify your life. Falling in love will not simplify your life. Having a meaningful career will not simplify your life. But any one of those things might be a huge blessing and pave the way for great joy and fulfillment.

Kept in its proper place, simplicity is a key goal and value. Elevated to an extreme, simplicity is an illusion and a barrier to fulfillment. The real issue here is: What is your priority? We need to build our lives in such a way that our key priorities get done, and we can only do this by making room in the other areas.
4. Quote of the week: 

“Once your soul has been enlarged by a truth,
it can never return to its original size.”
- Blaise Pascal

Let's keep in touch ...
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I write and speak at events as director of Renew Resources. I also am leader and teacher at Loop Church in Chicago. If you're ever in the area, come join us on a Sunday morning! Places to find my writing:


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