I'm very excited to invite you to join me in Sedona, AZ for a three-day retreat on the last weekend of April! I will be teaching on the theme of Finding Peace Amidst the Stress of Change. What better place to help us do that than in the sunny beauty of Sedona, Arizona!
 
The great challenge that so many of us are wrestling with is toxic stress. Toxic stress erodes our physical health, emotional well-being, and relationships. Given the pace of our lives and challenges of our world today, no one can eliminate stress altogether -- even if we wanted to. The problem is not stress itself, the problem is when that stress becomes toxic. And there are DEFINITELY things we can do to reduce -- and ultimately eliminate -- toxic stress from our lives. At this retreat, I'll share strategies for doing so.
 
At this retreat, I'll be joined in teaching by Belle Burg and her husband David Burkhart. Belle is a mentor and coach, specializing in helping people navigate through life transitions (such as moving, divorce, job loss, etc.) She's the author of "Best Seven Skills to Live By the Native American Way." David Burkhart has been a career corporate trainer, with an expertise in helping executives and managers manage workplace stress.
 
The retreat will be held in the beautiful Sedona Creative Life Center. The retreat will include teaching in the mornings, hiking tours and ample free time in the afternoon, and evening fireside chat sessions on Friday and Saturday night.
 
The cost for the retreat is $400, and early registrations will get a complimentary 20 minute treatment session at Sedona Spa. We are right now securing a special rate at Los Abrigados Resort and Spa for your lodging. Please make plans to join us. Email me with any questions.

For more information, or to sign up ... go here:

Whatever you’re doing, you will encounter problems and setbacks. There will be things that need to be fixed or changed -- and an abundance of people who are happy to point them out. Some people seem genetically programmed to focus on the negative. Ten good things might happen, and two bad things, and you’ll only hear about the two bad things.

Of course, we need to have an accurate assessment of what’s happening in our work, including the negative. We need to know the bad and the good, and sometimes other people have to point things out because we don’t see them. We don’t want to get so isolated in our position that nobody is willing to tell us the truth. That sometimes happens. 

But it’s more common for people trying to leave their mark in the world -- especially in spiritual contexts -- to get inundated by bad news and reminders of problems. 

If you want to do something significant with your life, you’ll need to develop a very important skill: You’ll need to learn how to tune out certain voices. You’ll need to learn to separate yourself from draining people and negative energy. 

It’s true that you need to have access to a wide variety of information. If there are problems, you need to know about them. But you need that information in context; in the context of an equal awareness of -- and reminders about -- things that are going well. You need to process information in an atmosphere of encouragement and goodwill. If leaders are over-exposed to unhappy, critical people, without the context of encouragement and honest assessment of positives, they can lose heart. 

Of course the opposite also happens: If leaders are over-exposed to affirmation and positivity (in the absence of honest feedback about problems and mistakes), they can lose touch. 

Both extremes can derail us. But I want to focus on discouragement, because it's a much bigger problem than optimism. My observation is that more leaders are prone to discouragement than false optimism, by a factor of 10.

Here's something I wish I had known when I was just starting out as a leader: Make sure you get information and feedback from a wide variety of people, and always consider the source. Some people aren’t going to like anything if it’s different from what’s being done already. Some people are going to like anything new. Some people have their own pet projects or special interests, and anything you do that relates to their “baby” is going to reflect their special interest, not so much what you do or the program you are offering. Take it all with a grain of salt. 

Always consider the source. For this reason, I’ve chosen for myself -- and encourage all the people I mentor -- to never read unsigned letters or anonymous comments online. In my blogs, I’ve taken down comments. Why put up with the hassle and consternation that often comes from people who spew negativity when they’re able to hide behind the screen of their computer? The Internet has given us many wonderful tools, but the proliferation of anonymous communication in email, comments, and message boards does much more harm than good.

I’m willing to dialog with anyone and do my best to be open to disagreement and feedback. But only with people who are willing to abide by the civility that is created by genuine interaction. 

There is one exception: I recognize that as a pastor, I operate with a certain power dynamic in the church, and some people with a concern or question might have a hard time approaching me with it. In that case, people can approach a member of the church board with their concerns. Then, the board member’s job is to make sure that information is dealt with in a way that is helpful for the person with the concern, for me, and for the church. The best outcome is for them to facilitate a meeting with me and the person with the concern. We want this kind of “feedback from a person unknown to me” to be the extremely rare exception. But it is important as a safeguard to the danger of abuse of spiritual power.

In his biography of Abraham Lincoln, David Herbert Donald points to a major turning point in Lincoln’s effectiveness in his leadership of the war effort. After a few bad experiences, where he relied too much on the opinions of certain generals and advisers, Lincoln made a commitment to getting a wider perspective. Sometimes he would personally go out in the field and talk to troops directly, rather than trust the feedback from one or two advisers (who likely had a personal agenda in mind when giving him their “advice”). As a result of getting a wider range of feedback, he was able to make much wiser decisions.

Our leadership may not be that broad or dramatic, but the need for discernment exists in any context. Look for feedback and broaden your perspective by hearing from others. But be wary of giving too much credence to too small a group of advisors, and try to get as much unfiltered input as possible.