This is the second in a two-part series. In the previous article, I made the point that the normal and expected pattern of our lives was to move from not only emotional childishness, but also spiritual childishness. The goal of our lives is to grow towards wholeness or completeness, which includes becoming spiritually "mature" or "complete." I then made the point that, too often that growth is hindered by the fear -- often stoked by misguided spiritual teachers -- of entertaining or exploring our questions and doubts. The assumption is that doing so will cause our faith in God, and our spiritual union (or relationship with God) to be diminished, if not lost altogether.

My contention is that often, the exact opposite is true. What we need to do, in order to move towards a deeper, more authentic, fully integrated faith is to explore the new information and experiences, and find ways of integrating them into our spiritual lives. As I said in the previous article, this might mean letting go of some of our assumptions and beliefs ("putting away childish things" as Paul says in I Corinthians 13:11).

In my work with people as a spiritual teacher and counselor, I've come to see that periodically, people will reach points of serious questions about what they've been taught to believe about God, the Bible, and life. Sometimes this happens because of new information gleaned from studies in science, philosophy, or comparative religion. Other times questions arise, because of experiences people have, where it seems that the actual unfolding of their lives -- and observations about their neighbors -- seems very different than the things they were taught.

In his book, "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart," Gordon Livingston offers a collection of life lessons. The opening chapter is devoted to the first lesson, which he titles: "If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong." Here's how he tells the story of how he learned this:

That is the experience -- and struggle -- of many people I have known and worked with over the years. The actual territory of their lives -- their experiences and what they see going on around them -- do not match the "map" they have (in this case, the Bible teaching they've been exposed to).

When our spiritual map doesn't agree with the ground in our lives, it creates a crisis. We are taught, when this happens, that we need to trust the spiritual map, and assume that we are in error, that we just don't really understand what we're seeing in our lives. Sometimes this is good advice, and interpreting our experience through the lens of scripture is helpful.

But sometimes it's not helpful at all. Sometimes the things we learn reshape our understanding of the map. One extreme example would be how Christians resisted the insights of science about the earth revolving around the sun, because of Bible passages the used the phrase "the sun stood still."

When people reach these crisis points in life, and start to question the things they've been taught, they interpret this crisis as a sort of spiritual breakdown. But instead, this crisis could lean to a profound breakthrough.

Those questions and doubts need to be looked at. People need to come to terms with what they've learned and what they're experiencing. If new information or experiences call into to question the things they've been taught, maybe they need to re-look at what they've been taught.

What is unique about the Bible -- and the whole of Christian teaching -- is it's confounding diversity. Many -- if not most -- people who grow up in church contexts do not understand or appreciate this. They tend to assume that whatever slant of Christian teaching they've been exposed to is the only form of Christianity there is. They tend to assume that whatever method or approach to Bible interpretation they were exposed to is the the only way to understand the Bible. So if they encounter things that contradict what they've heard and believed, they assume that Christianity itself must not be true, and that God must not exist.

This is the damaging error of the New Atheism. It creates a simplistic all-or-nothing mentality. They poke holes in Fundamentalist beliefs about God and interpretations of the Bible, and jump to the immediate conclusion that it all must be rejected. 

Maybe the Bible isn't "untrue" … maybe we've been interpreting it wrongly. Maybe the Bible isn't "untrue" … maybe we've been reading into it and expecting it to teach us more than it intends to teach. Put another way: Maybe the map isn't wrong … maybe we've been reading it wrong.

When we come to these points of question and concern … there is indeed a spiritual crisis. But that crisis may actually lead us to a deeper understanding and experience of God and the Bible, and the spiritual life. Maybe this is the crisis that will lead us to a new stage of faith.

In 1981, James Fowler wrote the groundbreaking book "Stages of Faith," which developed the idea that the spiritual life of people wasn't simply linear, but advanced through various stages. This was not a new concept by any means, and Fowler was building on Jean Piaget's theory of cognitive development, Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development, and Carl Jung's stages of human development. 

Fowler's work has been widely quoted, and used by many to gain deeper understanding of how spiritual growth happens. He suggests that, just as human beings move through distinct stages in the biological aging process, in intellectual and moral development, so too do we move through stages in our spiritual development. 

Fowler puts it this way:

As I said, Fowler was not the first to suggest this, and he was not the last. Carl Jung before him, and psychologist and author M Scott Peck, and philosophers Ken Wilber and Jim Marion have also put together their own understanding of stages of faith. It's important to note that they describe the stages in different ways … they don't agree on all points, by any means. But they do agree on this one thing: spiritual growth involves moving through stages.

Another way of thinking about how it works for us to "put away childish things" is analogies from nature. Like an animal shedding its skin or shell, our development often comes in crisis turning point experiences.

The late educator and columnist Eddie LeShan tells this story about how she came to think of how people go through transformations. (She's not specifically talking about spiritual transformation here, but the principle applies, nevertheless.)

As I hope is becoming clear in all this, the experience of facing our struggles, questions, and doubts is often the crisis point that marks a transition from one stage of faith to a deeper stage of faith ... assuming that we keep working on it. Assuming that don't simply abandon the spiritual pursuit altogether. We let go of the shell we once carried that gave shape and protection, but no longer fits. This doesn't mean an abandonment of our faith, or a disruption to our union (relationship) with God, it means a deepening and strengthening of it ... unless we choose to give up the process.

Of course, not everybody understands or appreciates this. Your questions and struggles might be threatening to other people. Going through the process will involve some discernment on your part, as you evaluate who in your life are the safe people to talk to about these things.

It's doubly challenging for people to go through this if they are in a public position of leadership. If their experience causes them to question some of the assumptions and beliefs of their particular group, they are thrust into an uncomfortable position. John Pavlovitz writes about this in his book "A Bigger Table,"

Let's be honest: most people in spiritual leadership positions have a hard enough time doing the work they are called to do, without "going there" into unexplored spiritual territory that might disrupt the beliefs they are paid to teach. I'm reminded of the famous quote by Upton Sinclair: 

Sinclair was talking about politics, but you can see how the principle applies to spiritual teachers who are teaching in environments where there is strict adherence to the "party line" about many theological issues. We might paraphrase Sinclair by putting it this way: "It is difficult to get a person to question something, when their salary depends on their not questioning it."

Please understand that I'm not suggesting that people deliberately and relentlessly seek out teaching that contradicts what they believe. Our world is awash in a sea of information, much of which turns in on and contradicts itself. I don't think anyone needs to seek out information or experiences that will challenge or contradict their faith. Those things will come naturally. 

All I'm asking is that we don't shrink away from those things. I'm asking that we keep pursuing our faith, and that we seek to continually integrate all our knowledge and experiences into our spiritual life, and vice versa. I'm asking that we recognize that true spiritual growth often happens on the other side of The Door of our certainties.

Does anything I'm writing here resonate with you? Are you struggling with unexplored questions and doubts that you don't feel safe talking about? Trust me, you are not alone. Let me know if there's any way I can be helpful to you.