Living in a world of overwhelming needs without being overwhelmed

Published: Thu, 08/16/18

Renew Weekly

Thursday Update 08.16.18

I help people who are stressed-out and anxious to restore their well-being ... and to get greater results in their life and work while maintaining it. I do this through teaching, writing, and coaching. This newsletter is part of that work.

What you'll find in this issue:

1. A brief word about this edition's feature article

2. Richard Rohr on Letting Go

3. FEATURE ARTICLE -- Living in a world of overwhelming needs without being overwhelmed

4. Quote of the week

1. A brief word about this edition's feature article

Once again, the feature article in this newsletter is an excerpt from the book that will (God willing) be released later this Fall. If it seems a little incomplete -- like I'm surfacing an issue, but not adequately answering it -- keep in mind that it's just a portion of a long section in the book. I don't want to turn this newsletter into a book of its own!

Leaving Your Mark Without Losing Your Mind will deal with the things that get in the way of our service ... our sense of personal mission to leave our mark in the world. One of the things I see getting in the way is that we feel overwhelmed by all the needs we face. I love the quote from the Talmud that's included in the article:

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."

2. Richard Rohr on "letting go" as the essential strategy for spiritual growth ... but also happiness

Richard Rohr is one of my favorite contemporary authors. In this excerpt, he draws the connection between "letting go" as something that not only is helpful to keep us happy and sane ... but that it's also an essential aspect of Christian spirituality:

“Jesus himself taught and exemplified the path of descent, which Christians have often called ‘the way of the cross.’ The path downward is much more trustworthy than any path upward, which tends to feed the ego. Like few other Christians, it was Francis of Assisi who profoundly understood that. Authentic spirituality is always on some level or in some way about letting go. Jesus said, ‘the truth will set you free’ (John 8:32).

"Once we see truly what traps us and keeps us from freedom we should see the need to let it go. But in a consumer society most of us have had no training in that direction. Rather, more is usually considered better. True liberation is letting go of our small self, letting go of our cultural biases, and letting go of our fear of loss and death.

"Freedom is letting go of wanting more and better things, and it is letting go of our need to control and manipulate God and others. It is even letting go of our need to know and our need to be right—which we only discover with maturity. We become free as we let go of our three primary energy centers: our need for power and control, our need for safety and security, and our need for affection and esteem. Francis sought freedom in all three parts of life."

3. FEATURE ARTICLE: Living in a world of overwhelming needs without being overwhelmed

"You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
- Anonymous

Living in the face of overwhelming needs, one of our defense mechanisms is to shield ourselves. We turn away from the TV and people on the street, tuning out the stories that might show us a problem or need. Some might see this as a sign of our hardened and callous hearts, but I think of it more as a coping strategy. If we don’t tune out some of the stories, images, and calls for help, we’re going to go crazy.

What about being a "Good Samaritan?"

Many people are not happy with this solution of isolating ourselves and turning away when we see needs. It reminds me of the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible (Luke 10). Jesus tells this parable in response to someone who questions him about who their "neighbor" is. If the Bible says to "love our neighbors as ourselves," and if we’re looking for loopholes, we might wonder exactly who these neighbors are. So in response to that question, Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.

The parable is about a man who is robbed and beaten, and winds up lying helpless on the road. Two people pass by, unwilling to help, before someone finally stops … the “Good Samaritan.”

____________________

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."

- The Talmud

____________________

When this story is told, the application is usually the obvious “moral of the story”: We should be like the Good Samaritan and help people in need. We should NOT be like the other two people who were too busy to stop and help.

Well that's great ... as long as you only encounter one person in need as you take your trip. But it can be challenging to apply this parable to our lives today, when we encounter many people with many needs on our journeys.

The Good Samaritan finds one man who has a need on this road. He is able and willing to help, which of course is exemplary. But suppose after helping this man onto his donkey, he came across another person who'd been beaten up and robbed? Should he help this person too? He had placed the first man on his donkey already; where can he put the second man? Is there room for two injured people? Okay, let’s say he figures out a way to help the second man. What if, after this, he comes across two more injured men? Four more? What should he do when facing needs beyond his capacity to offer help?

That is the world we live in today.

____________________

“When we give freely, we feel full and complete; when we withhold, we feel small, petty, impotent, and lacking. We are meant to learn this great truth, that giving fulfills us, while withholding and trying to get causes us to feel empty and even more needy. This truth runs counter to our programming, which drives us to try to get something from others to fulfill our neediness, only to end up even more needy, grasping, lacking, and unfulfilled.”

- Gina Lake

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Keep in mind that this is a parable, intended to make a specific point in a specific conversation. It's not a perfect analogy about how life works, and it's not given as a law that applies to any and all situations. Jesus uses this parable to challenge his listeners to live with compassion. We need to figure out how to apply this when our lives intersect with many more needs than we are able to handle.

Taking a closer look

As we apply the story of the Good Samaritan, it can be helpful to notice what the Good Samaritan does NOT do. He tends to the man's wounds and brings him to an inn at the next town. He gives the innkeeper money to pay for the man’s stay after the Samaritan continues on his trip.

Wait, did you notice that? He leaves. He continues his trip. He doesn't cancel his trip to continue helping this man. And this is the key point: When he is confronted by a need, he goes out of his way to help with that need. He does what is reasonable, given his situation. He does what is possible, giving what he is reasonably able to do. But he doesn't interrupt the flow of his life and cancel his other responsibilities to help.

Maybe you think that in order to be a Good Samaritan, you need to help everybody around you. Good luck with that. Maybe you think that when you start helping someone, you need to cancel your other plans to “be there for this person.” Maybe you do, but probably you don’t. Not even the Good Samaritan did that!

Not Every Need Is Yours to Meet

Just because you are aware of a need, it doesn't mean you are called to meet that need. Just because you encounter a problem, it doesn't mean it's your job to solve it. Just because there is someone in your life who has a problem, or you see an issue that you could help with, it doesn't mean it's now your responsibility.

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“Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision about your own life that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Anyone who wants you to live in misery for their happiness should not be in your life anyway.”

- Isaiah Hankel

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If you live your life simply reacting to the needs in front of you, you will feel overwhelmed, and you will miss out on opportunities to help in ways that are the best match for your gifts and are the most strategic for how you invest your life.

4. Quote of the week:

"Humility is our only answer to globalism,

to world peace, to economic justice, and to equality.

Until humility becomes a factor of life again,

the mark of culture and the antidote to narcissism,

we condemn ourselves to both personal

and national disintegration."

- Joan Chittister

Let's keep in touch ...

I write and speak at events as director of Renew Resources. I also am leader and teacher at Loop Church in Chicago. If you're ever in the area, come join us on a Sunday morning! Places to find my writing:

https://medium.com/@markbrouwer/

http://lastingleaders.com

http://sexualsanity.com

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