I grew up in the Christian Reformed Church, where -- at least in our congregation -- we didn't talk much about liturgical traditions, or observe the church year. It was only from Lutheran and Catholic friends that I learned about traditions like Ash Wednesday services and giving things up for Lent.
When I attended a Lutheran College -- Concordia College in Moorhead, MN -- it was somewhat bewildering when my friends would compare notes about what they were giving up for Lent, and ask me what I was giving up. I never had a good answer, so I would try to use humor. I would offer some unusual thing I was "giving up" that I never did in the first place: like arc welding, South American travel, or sail-boat racing. Later, my go-to line has been that I'm giving up
self-denial for lent.
What is lent and why do people give up stuff?
Lent is the 46 day period before Easter, which starts on Ash Wednesday. It's the time for Christians to reflect, and prepare to commemorate the death and resurrection of Christ. Writer William Bradshaw puts it this way:
"Lent is a time for today’s Christians to undergo personal self-denial and sacrifice in commemoration of the horrible physical and emotional pain Jesus endured starting on a Thursday night in the Garden of Gethsemane. While in the Garden praying, he was betrayed by one of his original twelve disciples for twenty pieces of silver. From the Garden he was taken before two different judges, both of who refused to pass judgment, with the second judge letting a
mob outside his chambers make the decision to crucify Jesus. Then, on the way to Golgotha, the traditional place for crucifixions, Jesus suffered the torment of verbal and physical abuses from the chanting crowds along the way. And, finally, he underwent the excruciating pain and humiliation of being crucified."
You might wonder if there's any significance to the number of days. Lent is intended to allow for 40 days of reflection and self-denial. 40 is an important number in Jewish and Christian history -- the Jews were in the wilderness for 40 years before entering the promised land, several figures (including Christ) prayed and fasted for 40 days at important turning points.
So why have Lent last 46 days instead of an even 40? In Christian tradition, Sunday is a time to worship, rest, and celebrate -- it's not viewed as an appropriate time for self-denial and fasting. So when you take out the six Sundays of Lent, you are left with 40 days for reflection and self-denial.
So what do you give up?
Some people choose to give up something they like for lent, such as a type of food or some specific luxury. This affords them repeated reminders during the 40 days of the self-denial and suffering of Christ. It's a way of keeping one's faith "top of mind," by building in repeated reminders.
In recent years, the emphasis on giving up something during Lent has gradually been changing to focusing on positive behavioral changes. Instead of giving up something good -- something you like to do -- for Lent, how about giving up something bad? Something you know is unhealthy or destructive? Some "guilty pleasure"?
The Perfect Thing to Give up For Lent
Here's what I propose: How about give up complaining and negativity for Lent? For some reason, we seem to be hard-wired to look for -- and fixate on -- the problems we're having and the faults on display by the people around us. The news and social media we consume is dominated by disaster, danger, and outrage. It trains us to be unhappy and pessimistic.
Why not look for, and celebrate, the good instead? Why not focus on things we can be thankful for, rather than the things we are frustrated about? Why not express gratitude and point out positive things, rather than spend out time and energy criticizing and complaining?
This is what we are specifically told to do in the Bible. The apostle Paul wrote, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8).
What would happen if you made the commitment, for the next 40 days, to stop complaining? What if you made the commitment to stop fixating on what's wrong with the world, with your life, and with the people around you ... and instead looked for something good?
I know there's a fine line here. If there are dangers, we need to be aware of them, and take precautions. If we're facing problems that we can do something about, then living in denial will only make things worse.
I'm not suggesting with live with our heads in the sand -- I'm suggesting that we live with balance. Instead of falling into our learned patterns of fault-finding, focusing on past regrets and future worries ... we change things up by also paying attention to the positive.
Writing about this theme, William Bradshaw says this:
All newscasts that I am aware of start out with murders, thefts, sexual abuses, ISIS executions, fires, wrecks, divorces of famous people, and other sad situations. In most newspapers, the lead stories usually deal with shocking and tragic events. As the old newsroom saying goes, “If it bleeds, it leads.” But it doesn’t have to be that way. ...
How many times at the local coffee shop do we overhear people say: “Just wait until I tell you about the most wonderful thing that happened to me this morning”; or “I’m so excited about the extraordinary way our boss treats us”; or “Wait until I tell you about the superb way our neighbor treats his wife”; or “Our neighbors have the most well-behaved teenagers”; or “My husband does the most marvelous things for me”; and so forth. We seldom hear comments like
that. Instead, we hear about the immoral, unfortunate, and sad things.
But regardless of how miserable people can be, it is usually possible to find some good in them. The same holds true with tragic events: usually we can find something good to come out of them.
By giving up our inclination to find fault with others, perhaps other people will reciprocate by treating us in the same way. That could make all of us a lot happier and life more productive. Let’s all of us—Christians of all varieties—give it a try during this Lenten Season. And it wouldn’t hurt for nonbelievers to join in.
